my heart is by your side
by finnrachel
Summary: "They were finally friends again. And maybe that was all they were supposed to be for now. Yet, here she was in Lima, worried sick about him. That had to count for something, right? Besides, she knew how he felt, he was just waiting for her to catch up." post 4x19.
1. this pain keeps my heart beating

**A/N**: Hi, everyone! So, I'm very happy to give you this fic. This is my first multichapter fic and I'm going to try to update it as much as I can. Right now, I'm on Spring Break so this week, I'll try to get a few more chapters out before I go back to school. I really hope you enjoy this! Title comes from Daniel Bedingfield's _If You're Not the One._

-x-

Finn was having a pretty shitty week. First, he failed an exam in his biology class and the stupid tutor was nowhere to be found when he went to go get help. Then, his car broke down on the way to McKinley and he had to get it towed back to Lima U and missed practice that day. Luckily, Mr. Shue was understanding and told him not to worry about it. But, he was just pissed off because he and Puck were trying to be more responsible and he was already screwing it up.

He and Puck were at the bar right around the corner from their school and so far, it was going alright. After the week he had, he just wanted to at least have a little fun before finals. But, on his way to the bathroom, he could have sworn he saw Brody hitting on some girl at the bar. What the fuck was he doing in Lima, Ohio?

Puck walked over to him, after talking to some girl in the corner, holding a soda in his hand and pointing with his index finger toward Brody, "Isn't that that fucking loser that you beat the crap out of in New York?"

"Yeah, I don't know what the hell he's doing here," Finn said in an annoyed tone, not ready for this asshole to start shit with him. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, I'll be back."

"Okay, dude, we're heading out soon, I've gotta get up early for an interview, so just come find me when you're done."

Finn nodded, tossing his soda can in the trash and walking toward the bathroom.

-x-

Puck could not find Finn. He'd gone to the bathroom thirty minutes ago and either he got lost or just went home without him. He knew that Finn had a rough week and wanted to blow off some steam, but he didn't think he'd just leave without telling him, no matter what kind of mood he was in. He continued to scan the room for Finn and getting worried when he didn't see him anywhere. He walked over to the bar and got the bartender's attention, "Hey, buddy, did you see if my friend left? He's really tall you can't miss him."

"Yeah," he said, instantly remembering Finn. "He was arguing with some short, donkey-looking, guy so I told them to take it outside and then come back in when they were done fighting like little girls."

"Shit," Puck muttered. He knew he saw Brody earlier, and was hoping that Finn wouldn't see him, and groaned into his hands. "Thanks man."

He took off running outside and saw Brody standing there, putting his cell phone in his pocket. "Hey, asshole, where's Finn?" he shouted, ready to kick this prick's face in. "I know you two got thrown out so where is he?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he said, avoiding Puck's stare.

"Yeah? Then how come the bartender saw you two arguing? And what the fuck else would you be doing in Lima, Ohio? You're just pissed because he kicked your ass in New York and you thought you could come down here to start shit." Brody didn't look at him because he knew Puck was right. "That's what I fucking thought. Now, I'll ask you again. Where the hell is Finn?"

"Last I checked, he was in the alley over there... unconscious," he sighed, pointing straight ahead.

"What the fuck did you do to him?" he asked darkly. "I swear to god –"

"I didn't do anything!" he put his hands up, as Puck started to charge at him. "Let me finish. I didn't do anything to him. I just had a couple guys rough him up. But, I didn't expect them to take it as far as they did. I already called 911, and - "

Without thinking, Puck punched Brody right in the face, he dropped on to the sidewalk and Puck raced across the street to Finn. He saw his crumpled form lying beside the dumpster and shouted his name, getting a low groan in response. He dropped to his knees beside Finn, his breath catching in his throat when he saw the state he was in. There was so much blood and his left arm was bent at a weird angle. He was lying flat on his back, eyes closed, and wheezing.

"Hey," he said, putting a hand on Finn's shoulder, trying to get him to talk to him. Only one of Finn's eyes flickered open, the other one already swollen shut. "Hey, buddy, you're gonna be okay. Help's coming."

Finn turned his head and spitting blood out on to the pavement. "M' head hurts," he mumbled, his speech slurred.

Puck patted his good arm gently, "I know. But, you're gonna be alright, Finn, just hang on a couple more minutes. We're gonna get you to the hospital and you're gonna get fixed up, okay?"

After a few more minutes, sitting on the ground with Finn, clicking his fingers every few minutes to keep Finn awake, Puck finally heard sirens and let out a sigh of relief. "Hey, the ambulance is here, buddy," Finn nodded, his eyes falling shut.

Puck got up off the ground, as the paramedics came rushing down the alley toward them. They asked him a few questions, like what Finn's name was and how old he was. They strapped Finn to a backboard and placed him on the gurney and then asked Puck if he was riding with Finn. He climbed in quickly, and prayed that Finn was going to be okay.

-x-

"Mr. Puckerman?" a doctor asked, approaching him. He stood up from his chair and walked over to meet him. "I'm Dr. McKenzie, I was the lead surgeon and I'll be on Finn's case while he's here and through his recovery," Puck nodded, shaking his hand.

"He's stable. We're moving him from the recovery ward to a private room right now. The surgery went very well with no complications, which is great news." Puck breathed out a huge sigh of relief. Finn had been in surgery for hours and he was starting to get worried.

"His right lung collapsed on arrival and we had to insert a chest tube," Dr. McKenzie reads off his clipboard. "It will be there for a few days to help him breathe. He has a grade two concussion and we're going to be monitoring him all night for that. There's a lot of facial swelling, especially in his mandible, or bottom jaw but thankfully, nothing is broken, which was a concern of ours."

Puck sat back down on the chair, sighing heavily. He couldn't believe that that asshole did this to his best friend, all over a fucking girl. The doctor gave him a sympathetic smile before continuing, "Now, his left arm required surgery, we had to put some screws in and all that's going to do is just help the alignment while it heals. We have it immobilized in a cast and a sling. He'll need physical therapy for it."

"He's a drummer, will it do anything to mess that up?" Finn would be devastated if he couldn't drum anymore and Puck wasn't going to let some asshole take that away from him.

"We'll have to play it by ear, once he's awake and lucid, we'll run some tests to see if he can move his fingers and then we'll go from there," Puck nodded, biting his lip. "Other than that he's got a lot of bruising, some cuts, and a broken nose, which we reset. I know it was a long list and a lot to take in. But, your friend is very lucky. There weren't any complications and that's a very good thing. If you want to see him, I can take you to his room."

"That'd be great. I just should probably call his mom first. She needs to know what happened," Puck told him.

"That's fine. I'll wait for you at the desk and just come find me when you're done," he replied, pointing to the desk so he'd know where to go.

"Thanks, man," he said before quickly walking outside to call Carole.

-x-

Rachel was sitting on the couch, watching a movie, when her phone rang. She jumped a little, groaning when she saw Kurt's number, "I will have you know that you just took like ten years off of my life, Kurt," she chuckled, getting no reply from the boy. "Kurt, are you okay?"

"R-Rachel," he choked out and she sat up, worried that he was calling about his dad. "I need you to come to Lima. It's... it's F-Finn. He's hurt."

Her heart sank at those words, already feeling tears welling up in her eyes. "What...what happened?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Puck, uh, told us that Brody came down and was at some party they were at. And he got some guys to attack Finn. The police are still looking for Brody, but they got the guys that did it," she covered her mouth and let out a quiet sob. She couldn't believe that Brody did this. "He's in pretty rough shape, Rachel, but the doctor said there weren't any complications and that he's going to be okay. He's been awake a few times, and the doctors are waiting to run some tests."

"I'll be there as soon as I can get a flight out," she sniffled, wiping at her tears.

"I'll tell him you're coming, he'll be happy. I'll text you if anything changes. Have a safe flight, dear," he said, sniffling too. "He's going to be okay, don't worry."

"I know," she muttered. She hung up and set her phone down beside her, sobbing into her hands. Rachel couldn't help but feel like this was her fault. Finn got hurt because Brody was still hung up on _her._

-x-

Carole and Burt hadn't left his bedside once since they arrived at the hospital. Finn had been in and out of consciousness all night and Carole was always right there, making sure he was okay and had everything he needed. He was pretty lucky that his mother was a nurse. She made Burt take Puck to their house and get some rest, knowing that the other boy had also been through a lot the night before.

She was sitting in the chair, holding Finn's hand in hers, watching tv when she heard a soft groan, "Mom?" he croaked, his speech still a little slurred. She smiled softly, as his good eye opened and he tried to smile back at her, but it was hard with his swollen cheeks. He still had the chest tube in to help him breathe.

"Hey there, handsome," she spoke softly, standing up, not letting go of his good hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Swollen," he breathed out in a quiet voice. This was the first time he'd been lucid since he'd been awake. "Really sore."

"You're okay," Carole laughed, running her fingers through his hair. He watched her as she pressed a button above his head. "Just a little banged up. But, you're okay. I'll call the doctor and get you some pain meds."

"What h-happened to me?" he asked, looking at his arm that was strapped tightly to his chest, trying to lift his head and failing.

"You were attacked last night at that party. That guy Rachel used to date apparently got some guys to do it for him," his eye widened, and tried to remember but he couldn't. It was just foggy. "Noah found you and made sure you got to the hospital. He's sleeping at the house right now."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine," she nodded. "I think he was just scared and exhausted. I made Burt take him back to the house and he's going to come by later.

Doctor McKenzie came in with a nurse following close behind, "Hi, Mr. Hudson, glad to see you're finally with us," he spoke gently. "We need to run a few tests, now that you're actually awake. So, Mom, I hope you don't mind if we borrow him for a little while."

The nurse brought a gurney in and they moved Finn on to it, placing a clean sheet over him, and wheeling him out of the room.

-x-

His arm is basically fucked. He could barely move his fingers, which was what his doctor was afraid of. He would a lot of physical therapy to get it back to the way it was. He'd probably never be able to drum again. Or at least as good.

Drumming was the only thing he loved doing that he never had to worry about. He always used it as an escape from the rest of the world.

God, was the universe out to just make sure that he had _nothing_ left?

-x-

Puck came back to the hospital later that day, finding Carole waiting for him outside of the room, "Hey, how's he doing?" Puck asked as he approached her.

"Not good," she told him and he sighed. "They ran some tests and his arm had too much damage. The way that it was broken – they told him he's probably not going to be able to drum as good as he used to."

"Shit," Puck muttered, looking up at the ceiling. "Is he alright?"

"He didn't take it very well, and you know how he gets," she said sadly. "I'm just worried that, you know, after the year he had, that this might be the last straw."

"I'll try to talk to him," Puck said, walking toward the room, before turning and looking back at her. "He'll be alright, I promise. I know you're worried, but he'll be fine. I'll make sure of it."

Puck walked in the room, closing the door quietly behind him, and saw Finn with his head turned towards the window, "Mom, I said I want to be alone right now," he whispered, not moving from his position.

"It's not your mom," Puck said calmly, not wanting to piss off his best friend. He turned to face Puck, smiling slightly. "You look like hell, dude."

"Feel like it too," Finn mumbled. "My mom said the swelling is so bad that I look like a chipmunk."

"It's pretty bad," Puck laughed, making his way to sit beside Finn. "You look like a black and blue chipmunk."

"Thanks," Finn shifted, trying to get comfortable and winced when the movement jostled his chest tube. He was never going to be able to get comfortable in this hospital bed.

"So, how are you feeling?" Puck asked, picking up the remote and stealing the unopened cup of jello on Finn's tray.

"Do we have to talk about that right now?" Finn groaned, turning away from Puck again.

"Your mom's just worried about you, dude," Puck replied, opening the jello and taking a huge spoonful of it. "You had a pretty shitty year dude and she just wants to make sure that you're gonna be alright. "

"It just sucks and I'm pissed. And all I want to do is beat the hell out of Brody for doing this to me," Puck nodded, giving his friend a sympathetic look.

"You know, I know you think that fucking asshole won because he got Rachel for a while and you didn't. But, I can already tell you that if Rachel knows that he did this and that you're hurt because of it, that dude better prepare himself for what she's going to do to him. Because Berry is fucking terrifying when she is pissed and when people fuck with you," Puck told him. "Not to mention the guy couldn't fight you himself because you already kicked his ass once."

Finn laughed loudly, wincing when it hurt his chest, "Okay, no laughing with the chest tube in. And I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to sleep. I feel like shit."

"Okay, bro, no problem. Get some sleep." Puck laughed, setting the empty jello cup back on the tray. He bit his lip, he probably should have told him that Rachel was coming, but he didn't want to make him panic.

-x-

Rachel finally got into town almost two days after Kurt called her. He waited for her at the airport and drove her to the house first to drop off her bags. She was going to go to her house, but her dads were gone. "So how's he doing?" she asked in a quiet voice. "You haven't said much so I assumed it was pretty bad."

"Oh no, he's doing a lot better. He's been sleeping a lot, though, like more than usual," he joked and Rachel grinned, she knew how much Finn loved his sleep. "He's still got the chest tube in to help him breathe and the rest of him is just one big bruise. And ah, His arm is messed up really bad. The doctor told him that he probably won't be able to drum like before."

"Oh my god," Rachel gasped, sitting down on the couch. "My poor – Finn. How'd he take it?"

"Not very well, but he's not depressed about it. He's just angry at Brody. But, I think that's about how everyone feels right now."

"Yeah. I cannot believe he came down to Lima to do that. All because of me. Finn and I haven't even spoken in weeks because he's been so busy with school. And Brody – he ruined it for himself by lying to me."

"Well, I mean, it's not like he was the best boyfriend material," Kurt joked and received a sharp glare in return. "Okay, what do you say we go visit Finn now? He doesn't know you're coming but, he'll be so happy to see you. Carole and Puck are driving him _insane_. And it's only going to get worse once he's released."

"Okay, I'd love to go see him," she replied, standing up from the couch.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Kurt laughed, running out of the house before Rachel could smack him.

-x-

When Rachel and Kurt got to the hospital, Finn was fast asleep, just as Kurt predicted. She took one look at hiim and her heart broke at how awful he looked. His cheeks were puffy, his right eye swollen shut and a nasty shade of purple. There were butterfly stitches on both of his eye brows and his nose looked just like hers did after it got broken. He had a robe on over his hospital gown, so she couldn't see his arm, but that was probably a good thing.

Carole smiled at her and turned to face Finn, touching his good arm, "Finn, honey? Rachel's here to see you," his eye opened and he mumbled something to his mom, then looked at her and smiled softly. "I'll just leave you two alone. Come on, Kurt, let's go get some coffee and call your dad."

"But, I've only seen Finn once, Carole," Kurt whined.

"I don't care, come on, let them talk," she said through gritted teeth, grabbing Kurt's arm and pulling him out of the room.

Rachel giggled at them before turning back to Finn, who was rubbing his good eye, "Hi," she spoke softly as she walked toward him. "How are you feeling?"

"Hi," he smiled at her sleepily and she felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach. "I'm okay. They just gave me some medicine not too long ago so I kind of feel like I'm laying on a cloud right now."

"Good," she chuckled, sitting down at his bedside. "You look –"

"Like crap?" he suggested with a small smirk and she laughed, shaking her head.

"No, never," she mumbled, blushing slightly. "I was just going to say that you look like you're in quite a bit of pain."

"I think my face just does that for me right now," he giggled and she rolled her eyes. He was still smiling at her, and she looked down at the floor, biting her lip. She was so mad at herself and couldn't help but feel like she was responsible. "What's wrong, Rach?"

"Finn... I just – I'm so sorry that this happened to you," she began, squeezing her eyes shut. "He did this because of me and now, you won't be able to drum like you did before and –"

"Rachel, stop it," Finn cut her off. "It's not your fault, okay? It's that... douchebag's fault. Stop blaming yourself because you didn't do anything wrong."

"But –" she spoke again and he held up a hand, shaking his head.

"Come here," he said, holding out his arm for her to come hug him.

"No, I don't want to hurt you."

"You're not going to, now come here," she nodded, standing up, wiping under her eyes before leaning over and accepting Finn's embrace. She felt him kiss the side of her head and she hugged him a little tighter.

"It's not your fault, Rach. I'm okay," he whispered, rubbing her back before she let go and stood up, wiping under her eyes again. The door opened again and Carole and Kurt came back in with coffee and she turned back to Finn, both of them knowing that the two had probably been looking in the room half of the time they were talking.

They were finally friends again. And maybe that's all they were supposed to be for now. Yet, here she was in Lima, worried sick about him. That had to count for something, right?

Besides, she knew how he felt. He was just waiting for her to catch up.

-x-

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	2. stubborn love

**A/N**: Hi, everybody! Thank you for all of the kind reviews on the last chapter. I was really nervous about how you would all respond to this and I'm pleased so far. This is going to be sort of an end of season four/season five redo. And I know a lot of people are doing this right now, but just bare with me. This chapter is very finchel heavy and it's going to be that way from here on out. Enjoy! Thanks for reading again!

-x-

Finn had only been back at home for a few hours and his mother was already driving him nuts. She'd come in and out of his room making sure he was warm enough, seeing if he needed any medicine, and checking to see if he wanted to eat or sleep. He knew she was worried about him and that he kind of scared the hell out of her, but he just wanted her to calm down. He was going to be fine.

Thankfully, they had Puck bring his dad's chair up to his room and the TV from the den so that he'd be more comfortable while he was recovering. He was snuggled under his comforter, propped up in the recliner, when there was a knock at the door.

"It's open," he called out and smiled when Rachel poked her head in, with a smile. "Hey, stranger. Nice to see you. Please tell me you're kidnapping me."

"Hi," she greeted as she stepped into his room, carrying a bag on her shoulder. "No, I'm not here to kidnap you. Your mother already cornered me at the door when I got back with Kurt and told me that you're on bed rest until she says otherwise. So, I guess you'll be here forever."

"That's not funny," he groaned, bringing his blanket up to cover his face. "You're mean."

"Well, I brought you some of your favorite cookies and some of your favorite moviesto cheer you up," she giggled as he lowered his blanket. "And to keep you from going clinically insane while you're at home for the next few weeks."

"Thank you, Rachel. Seriously, you didn't have to do that for me," he smiled at her as she set the bag down on his bed.

"It was no problem at all, I wanted to do it. I know how you get when you're bored. And Kurt might have told me what he did to your DVD collection after one of your arguments."

"That's still a sensitive subject that we're not allowed to discuss," he said, shifting and wincing as he tried to get comfortable. "But, it was very nice of you to do all that. So thanks, Rach."

"Again, it was no trouble at all. We're friends and I was just doing a nice thing for my friend," she said sweetly. Finn muttered a quiet 'yeah', as she sat down on his bed. "I know you're probably tired of people constantly asking this, but how are you feeling?"

"Uh, I'm okay right now," he breathed. "I'm a little sore, but it's mostly because of the bruises and my stupid arm."

Rachel winced as he spoke. His face wasn't as swollen as it was the first day she saw him, but his eye was still looking pretty nasty – it wasn't swollen shut anymore, though, and his cheek still had stitches where a long gash was. His broken nose did kind of make him look a raccoon. She felt so bad for him – she couldn't even imagine how much pain he was in.

"You don't look so puffy anymore. I was starting to forget what your face actually looked like," she joked and he glared in return. "I'm kidding. It just looks like it hurts a lot."

"It does hurt. But, I'll be okay. Don't worry about me," he said, trying to calm her down as she opened her mouth to speak. "The good news is I start physical therapy soon, though. I've just gotta wait a week or so because the doctor wanted me to make sure I get plenty of rest."

"Good," she smiled at his news. She just wanted him to be okay. It probably was a lot to ask for with his arm, but she had hope. "I hope everything goes well with that."

"Well, I mean, the recovery's not going to happen as fast as I'd like it to. I already met with the guy I'm going to be working with and he said we're just going to like start trying to wiggle my fingers and then go from there," his voice a little sad and she bit her lip. "I guess I should be grateful that there wasn't serious nerve damage. I mean, I'll miss drumming if I'm not able to, but it's better than the alternative."

Rachel knew what the alternative was and the thought of that ever happening to him made her stomach churn. "So, do you want to watch a movie?" she asked, changing the subject. "I'll give you the bag and you can pick."

"Okay," he said softly, as she walked over to him gently setting bag in his lap. "Just don't get mad if I fall asleep. I'm pretty tired."

"I won't, I promise," she chuckled. He unzipped the bag and glanced at her, giving her a small smile. This version of Finn sitting before her wasn't the same scared little boy he was nearly seven months prior. He was so optimistic, even after going through something so awful. And she just adored him so much more for that. It was as if he was the boy – no, the _man_ – she fell in love with.

-x-

Finn fell asleep shortly after the movie started, but he did warn her. Even without painkillers in his system, Finn Hudson could hardly stay awake during a movie. She got up from his bed, took the dvd out of the dvd player and put it back in the case, then walked over to Finn and adjusted his comforter that was now pooled at his feet. She pressed a kiss to his forehead and left the room.

Carole was in the living room, folding what looked to be Finn's laundry. She smiled at Rachel as she stepped into the room, "Is Finn sleeping?" she asked as she set a t-shirt into the basket at her feet.

"Yes, I think the medicine and all of the cookies he ate wore him out," Rachel laughed and Carole shook her head. "Is there anything you'd like me to do? I'm here to help. I don't have to be back at school until Monday morning."

"Um, yes actually. Hang on, just give me one second, honey," she said, standing up and running to the kitchen, returning a few minutes later, with a sticky note and her wallet. "I was going to have Burt pick up a few things for Finn at the grocery store when he got back from the tire shop. But, if you want to that would really help me out."

"Oh sure, it's no trouble," she said, taking the sticky note from Carole. "Like I said, I'm here to help. I'm sure that your hands are full with that big baby upstairs."

"Yeah, you have no idea. He gets upset because I worry about him and want to make sure that he's got everything he needs and then whines when he's uncomfortable. And gives me that _look._"

"Oh, he still does the puppy dog eyes? I thought he'd grown out of it," the two women laughed, Rachel shook her head. Finn could probably get away with murder with the puppy dog eyes.

"No he hasn't retired that, unfortunately. I don't think he ever will because he knows that I'll cave. And it's worse right now because he's hurt."

"I'm sure it is," Rachel giggled and the two sat in silence for a few moments.

"Okay, let me just give you some cash and you can head on out, if I could just get the money out of here oh my goodness," she said, still rummaging through her wallet, finally pulling out a couple twenty dollar bills. "And take your time, there's no hurry. I'm not going to be need any of that stuff until I make dinner tonight."

"Carole, you're okay with me staying here, right?" Rachel asked, taking the money from Carole. "I just know that things haven't been exactly wonderful between Finn and I. And I just don't want to overstay my welcome or intrude."

"Honey, I know that things were bad between you and Finn for a while, but you've always been a part of this family. I don't want you to feel like you can't be here."

"Okay, I was just worried that you hated me and I didn't want to make you uncomfortable with me being here," she said, looking at the floor. "Finn and I are having a movie marathon, though. Well, _I'm_ having a movie marathon – Finn is snoring."

"So it's just like old times then?" Carole joked and Rachel nodded, rolling her eyes. After a few more minutes of talking to Carole, she decided she probably should get to the store. She was just so happy that Carole didn't hate her guts and still considered her part of their family. It really meant a lot to her.

-x-

Rachel was loading the groceries into her car when she saw Brody approaching her. He still hadn't turned himself in and he had a lot of nerve trying to talk to her. She slammed her trunk shut and faced him, crossing her arms, "Give me one good reason not to call the police on you right now."

"Oh, don't be dramatic," he said, rolling his eyes. "I'm turning myself in after this. I just saw you as I was driving by and I wanted a chance to –"

"What, apologize to me?" she laughed. "I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. But, good luck going on Finn's property. His mom will get to you before his step-dad can."

"Rachel, come on."

"No!" she shouted, pointing in his face. "This was the worst thing you could have possibly done, Brody! Worse than lying to me about your job. Because, honestly, I forgave you for that. But, hurting Finn? If Noah hadn't found him, who knows what would have happened?"

"I called the ambulance, Rachel, they were already on the way by the time that guy even came looking for ," Rachel rolled her eyes and shook her head. "The guys were taking it too far so I made them stop. I didn't want it to go that far."

"And what do you want for that, Brody, a gold star? You still _paid _a group of guys to beat him up!"

"He and Santana did the same thing to me," Brody pointed out.

"No, they didn't. Finn, punched you in the face and gave you a black eye and then that was it. You had him in an unfair fight and then put him in the hospital," she seethed. "And don't you dare compare him to you. You aren't even half the man Finn is."

"That why you broke up with him? Because he's such a wonderful guy?" he asked bitterly and she scoffed, her eyes filling up with tears. "I'm sorry. That was out of line. I knew getting you to talk to me would be tough, but I just wanted to see you before I turn myself into the police."

"Whatever, I don't care. It's not like it would have made a difference anyway," she said, moving to open her car door. "You're an awful person and you never had a chance with me. Have fun in prison."

Rachel climbed in her car and slammed the door shut, leaving Brody standing in the parking lot. She tried not to let what he said get to her. She broke up with Finn for a good reason and she knew that. He couldn't be the guy he needed to be for her when he couldn't even be that man for himself. It had nothing to do with the kind of person he was.

-x-

Rachel got back up to Finn's room, only to find him half asleep, struggling to get the recliner to go down, "Hey, sleeping beauty. Need some help?" she asked with a laugh and he nodded.

"Yes, please, I gotta use the bathroom and I didn't feel like yelling for my mom. It's just hard to reach that stupid pully thing because of my arm," he replied, leaning back as Rachel walked over and pulled on the lever. She got it down and then held her hand out for Finn.

He stood up slowly, wincing at the movement. Rachel wrapped her arm around his waist, letting him lean on her if he needed it. "You okay?" she asked when she heard his sharp intake of breath.

"Yeah. I just really need to take something soon," his voiced laced with pain and discomfort as they exited his bedroom and walked down the hall to the bathroom. "I'm really sore."

"Okay, let's get you to the bathroom and then we'll get you settled all nice and comfy back in your room. Then, I'll have your mom bring up your medicine and your dinner," she suggested with a smile, opening the bathroom door. "How does that sound?"

"Perfect," he said simply. He gave her a pained smile as he let go and stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him. She stood outside the bathroom, listening in case he stumbled or fell down. Pleased when she heard the toilet flush and the sound of Finn washing his hands, she waited until he opened the door to go back to his room.

"Are we still having our movie marathon tonight?" he asked as he opened the door and then wrapped his good arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry that I fell asleep before. It's just all I do is sleep lately."

"Yes we are. Your mom even said I could stay in your room tonight. It's funny, because a year ago, you and I were begging for her to let me spend the night in your bedroom," she said with a laugh, walking him back into his bedroom and leading him to the recliner. "And it's okay, I know you're tired, you don't have to feel bad."

"I think it's just because my mom knows you won't try to have sex with an injured person," he pointed out, giggling as he sat down slowly in the recliner. "Okay, laughing still hurts, let's not do that again."

"I'll go get your painkillers and the soup your mom made for you. I picked it out when I went grocery shopping for her today," she explained, pulling the lever on the recliner. Finn leaned back, trying to get comfortable and letting out a groan. "But let's get you nice and comfy first."

She adjusted the pillow behind his back, fluffing it and smiling at him, then setting his blanket in his lap, making sure he was warm enough. "Thanks, Rach."

"It's no problem at all," she cooed, walking toward the door. "I'll be right back with your stuff. Just sit tight."

Finn mumbled, "Okay," and she exited his bedroom. It was pretty quiet in the house, Kurt was sitting in the living room, eating dinner, waiting for Carole and Burt to come join him.

"How's the patient?" he asked with a small smile.

"He's hungry and wants painkillers," she replied as she stepped out of the living room and entered the kitchen.

Carole was talking softly to Burt when she walked in. When their conversation stopped abruptly, both of them realizing that she was in the room, she knew that they were talking about her and Finn – just like they used to.

"Hey, Rachel, sweetie," Carole greeted. "Do you need something?"

"Yes, Finn needs painkillers. He's starting to get really sore and hungry," she explained. Carole grabbed the tray she had sitting on the table and opened it, setting his bowl of soup on it. She asked Burt to get Finn's medicine out of her purse as she took a glass out of the cabinet and poured Finn a glass of water.

"I'll bring this up to him," she told Rachel, picking up the tray and . "You dish yourself up some dinner and then you can join Finn upstairs. You must be hungry."

"Okay," Rachel agreed as Carole walked out of the room. Burt turned to her, with a smile.

"I'll get it for you, no worries," Burt offered, walking over to the stove, picking up one of the bowls. "You know, Carole is really happy that you came around this week. And so am I."

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, of course," he answered, taking the ladle and putting soup in her bowl. "Nobody is angry with you for breaking up with Finn. Carole told me you were worried that she didn't like you anymore. And, I gotta tell you, I think that you gave Finn that kick in the ass that he needed."

"You think so?"

"I know so. He was really down when he got back into town and I think that you were right for doing what you did," he spoke, handing her the bowl. "It couldn't have been easy, but you did what you had to do. I think he's really gotten to figure out who he is and that's why he's been so confident lately."

"It's like he's a whole new person, I love it," she giggled, sitting down at the table. "He's so optimistic now. I was talking to him earlier about his arm and he said he was grateful that there wasn't serious nerve damage and that it's better than the alternative. It just surprised me because I haven't heard him sound so optimistic in so long."

"Like I said, he's happier now. He's helping Schuester with the glee club and he loves those kids. And he and Puck have a good thing going over at the university," he explained as dished up his own soup. "Just don't make him wait too long for you, okay?"

"Excuse me?" she coughed, nearly choking on her soup.

"I said, don't make him wait too long for you. I know you're doing the whole Broadway thing right now, and he's more than proud of you. But, he can't wait forever for you to come back to him. And you know, neither can you," Burt said, leaving the room.

-x-

"Brody's turning himself in," she blurted out half way through _The Avengers_. She was lying on her stomach on Finn's bed and she just decided to be honest. "Or he might have already. I saw him at the grocery store today and he told me."

"What? He cornered you while you were alone? He didn't try anything did he?" Finn asked angrily, attempting to sit up. "I swear to god –"

"No, he didn't do anything to me. He wanted to apologize to me for what he did," she explained, picking it her But, I didn't accept it. I told him that you were the one he needed to apologize to."

"You know, I don't really remember what happened," he began and she moved into a sitting position, he legs folded underneath her. "That whole night is still kind of foggy. So his apology would be pretty worthless."

"But, still, Finn, you know what he did to you," she pointed out and he nodded. "And that doesn't make you angry at all? That he couldn't let go of some stupid grudge he has against you and had to have some group of guys attack you?"

"Yes, it makes me angry, Rachel. But, I'm still here and I'm gonna be okay!" he shouted back. "It fucking sucks that I'm in this situation, but at least I'm still here to be in this situation."

"Finn..." she began and stood up, moving toward him.

"The way I see it is he thought he was going to win some imaginary war between he and I. But, he still lost because not only did he lose his shot with you. He gets to spend some time in jail, possibly," he explained as she took his good hand. "Yes, this could have been a lot worse. It wasn't, though. I'm fine, Rachel, okay?"

"I know you are. I know and I'm sorry for overreacting. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I couldn't – I don't think I could handle it if it did," she told him and he nodded in understanding. "I care about you so much, Finn, and he hurt you. That's why I'm so angry."

"You're not overreacting," he told her, shaking his head. "Because if it were you in this situation, I-I don't – somebody would probably have to tranquilize me to calm me down. I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"It's okay. You were just trying to calm me down. Just like you always do," she said, sweetly and he nodded. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, knowing that she could get away with it. Finn smiled at her when she pulled away, then walked back over to his bed and flopped back down.

"Crap, we missed all of that. We're going to have to rewind it," Finn said in an exasperated tone, picking up the remote.

"That's fine. I've seen this a few times with Kurt and Santana," she explained, giving him a smile.

Burt's words were still ringing in her ears. Yes, Finn was much happier now and in a great place, but she was such a big part of him and his happiness. All that was missing from Finn's life was her. Making him wait for her to come back to him wasn't fair to him and it wasn't fair to herself either.

Maybe it was time to stop being so stubborn and scared and just _go for it_.

-x-

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	3. lights will guide you home

**A/N**: Hi, everyone! I'm so excited to be giving you this chapter. Things are about to get very good after this. Thank you for sticking around and reading. I'm so happy that you guys are enjoying this!

-x-

Rachel found herself at McKinley a few days before she was supposed to leave. It was Friday afternoon so she knew Mr. Schuester was having glee practice and she wanted to stop by and see him. She had been at Finn's house helping Carole and Finn all week and she decided to take advantage of her time while Finn was at home napping. He'd gotten a little insufferable and she knew it was because Carole wasn't letting him do anything but sit in his room, but she needed to leave that house before she strangled him for being so grumpy.

The choir room was empty, but she spotted Mr. Schuester in his office and smiled before knocking on the door. He looked up at her from whatever it was that he was writing down with a smile on his face, "Rachel, hi," he said, getting up and walking over to hug her. "What brings you by?"

"Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to come by," she answered as he broke the hug. "Where is everybody? I thought you had practice today."

"Finn thought it would be a good idea to give the kids Fridays off. The kids work so hard all week long and I want to give the some free time. Fridays are usually the days we plan assignments for the week. That reminds me – have you been by the university to see Finn at all?" he asked her, sitting back down. She looked at him in confusion. Did nobody tell him what happened? "I haven't heard from him in a few weeks and it's not like him to just fall off the face of the earth. I had a couple of ideas I needed to run by him for Nationals. Things have been pretty weird between the two of us lately but it's not like him to just ignore me."

"Mr. Shue, did nobody tell you what happened?" she asked, worry evident in her voice.

"No... I haven't heard anything from anybody," he replied, looking at her confused. "What's going on?"

"Finn was attacked two weeks ago after a party and was in the hospital," she explained and Mr. Shue's eyes widened. "He's okay, he's okay , he's been back at home for a few days. And Carole is taking wonderful care of him. I think calling you must have slipped their minds because they had to get him exempt from his classes until he's okay enough to go back to school."

"Oh my god," he gasped and Rachel gave him a sympathetic smile. "You're sure he's going to be fine?"

"Positive," she assured him. "I mean, his arm is pretty badly broken and it needed surgery. They're worried that he won't be able to drum anymore. But, Finn's not broken up about it and like, I said he's fine."

"That's terrible. Finn loves drumming."

"He does. But, he's going to be fine without it. And besides, I think he loves being a teacher more. A broken arm won't hinder his teaching skills," she joked and Mr. Shue smiled. "Are you going to come by and see him? I'm sure he'd love to see you. He's gone a little stir crazy – okay, a lot stir crazy – and a familiar face might cheer him up."

"I think that might not be such a great idea. Things are still pretty tense between us now. We get along for the kids and everything. But, I know he's still a little mad at me for how I treated him there for a while," he admitted. "He told me the truth because he felt so terrible and I was so cruel to him, Rachel. I mean, he accepted my apology but things aren't the way they were before."

"I don't buy that for a second," she said, shaking her head. "Mr. Shue, Finn loves you. And yeah, he might be a little upset still, but you did really hurt him. He's always seen you as a father figure and has never had to deal with you being angry with him."

"Rachel, I told him I gave him the glee club because I pitied him and not because I thought he could actually do it," she sighed, looking toward the door. Finn told her it was bad, but never said why. "But, I didn't mean it and he still tried to get me to forgive him and I couldn't do it."

"Well, why don't you go see him? Not seeing him might do more damage than you think," she told him. "Come by as soon as you get done here. He'll be happy to see you."

"Okay, okay, I'll come by," he finally agreed.

"Great."

-x-

Finn didn't want Rachel to go back to New York – but he understood that she had to. He loved having her around him while he was stuck at home, she truly made his recovery so much better. But, she had school and _Funny Girl _waiting for her back in New York, and who was he to get in the way of her dreams? It was always going to come down to him or Broadway, and he knew she'd always pick Broadway.

Truth be told, he was terrified of leaving Lima. He loved the glee club and he loved teaching them, but he loved Rachel more. But, he was scared of leaving the safety net he had in Lima and going somewhere he'd never been before.

"Hey, handsome," Rachel greeted him as she stepped into his bedroom, snapping him out of his thoughts. He smiled at her from his position on the recliner. "I'm glad you're up. Are you feeling okay enough to have a visitor? I know you were hurting earlier."

"I'm okay. Still sore but, the nap helped a little bit," he assured her. "And I took a bath too, I don't feel so disgusting now. Anyway, who's here to visit me?"

"Mr. Shue. Apparently, nobody told him what happened to you and he thought you were just ditching glee club practice," she explained.

"Crap, I forgot to have my mom call him. I can't believe I did that," he felt so bad. The kids probably thought he quit. "Send him up."

After a few moments, Mr. Shue walked into the room, "Hey buddy," he greeted with a nervous smile.

"Hey," he said back, holding out his good arm waving for him to come give him a hug. The two men embraced and Finn patted his back. "It's good to see you."

"You too. You look like crap," he told him with a laugh, letting go, giving Finn's good shoulder a squeeze.

"I feel like it too," he joked, sitting up slightly, wincing at the movement. "Hey, listen, I'm sorry for not calling you. It slipped my mind and I feel terrible for it."

"It's no problem," he assured Finn. "I'm just glad you're alright. That's all that matters. I want you to take your time getting better. The kids won't be mad if you're gone, I'm sure they'll be happy you're okay. Just like we all are."

"Thanks, Mr. Shue," he said gratefully. "If my mom ever lets me leave the house again, I'll try to hurry back."

"Take your time, buddy. We'll be there waiting for you," he paused for a second. "So, Rachel's back, huh?"

"Yeah, Kurt called her and told her what happened to me and she flew down here to see me," he smiled at the thought. "It's been really nice having her helping me out."

"So what's the plan when she goes back? Are you maybe thinking about going back with her?" he asked. "Because, if you were to go with her, nobody at McKinley would be mad. I'm back now and the kids will be fine."

"But, you guys need me," Finn told him. "You've all worked so hard I can't bail on you now."

"Finn, let's face it," Mr. Shue began, scratching the back of his head. "You're happy here, you've found your dream and you're at a good school having a good time. The only thing missing from the equation is her. Don't run from that now because of the glee club and me. Not while you've got her right where you want her. We'll all be just fine and you can always come back when you're ready."

-x-

"Finn what are we going to do when I go back to New York?" she asked him after dinner. She was lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, and she just had to ask him. She heard him sigh as she continued. "I mean, things are different now – a good different – and I just feel like if I leave now, I'm going to regret it."

"Rachel... I-I don't -" he began in a quiet voice. "I don't want to talk about this right now."

"Can you just be honest with me?" she begged. "I don't want to go back until we figure this out and I know you don't want me to either. So what are we going to do?"

"I don't want you to go, Rachel, but you have to, okay? You have _Funny Girl _and NYADA and your apartment with Kurt and Santana and a life in New York. You've been working so hard to get there long before I came around and I can't ask you to walk away from all of that now," he told her. She sat up, shaking her head.

"Then, what if you came with me?" she asked and Finn shook his head. They were literally having the same conversation that they had the year before and she was about to scream. "Or what if we tried long distance and you come up on weekends to see me? We can make this work, Finn. I'm not giving up this time and letting you run away again."

"I'm not running away!" he shouted, running his hand through his hair. "I have school and the glee club and I have a life _here._"

"That you didn't even want!" she shouted back, slamming her fist against his bed. "You have never wanted to stay in Lima. Senior year you were planning on leaving with me, even when you were lost and didn't know what you wanted to do. So, why are settling for it now?"

He bit his lip, not meeting her eyes. She knew she pissed him off, but he needed to hear this, "I'll tell you why. Because you're scared. You've always been scared of leaving Lima because this place is like a safe haven for all of us. And you're scared of making it out of here and falling flat on your face because of what happened with the Army. But, Finn, there are plenty of colleges you can apply to in New York. You can be a teacher anywhere!"

"You don't get it, Rachel, the glee club – those kids need me. And if I leave them now after I worked so hard with them to even get them all to get along, I'd feel terrible," Rachel stood up and walked over to Finn, crouching down beside him and cupping his cheeks, mindful of the stitches on his left cheek.

"Finn, we have spent much too much time a part. And I finally feel like we are ready to be together. Whether that is here in Lima, or in New York, I don't care," she practically begged. "Those kids love you and they would understand you leaving them if that's what you chose to do."

"Rachel please –"

"Kurt and Santana will be fine without me if I left," she lifted up his good hand and squeezed it. "Finn, you have fought for me countless times. You've kissed me in front of hundreds of people because you wanted one more chance with me. When you proposed last year, you showed me that I could have it all. At the wedding you told me that we are endgame. And suddenly, it was like I felt silly and stupid for doing what I was doing at the time. So why do we have to keep waiting when we are both ready now? I don't want anyone else, Finn."

"Rachel, I was a little hammered that night," he told her with a chuckle.

"That might be true. But, you meant what you said to me," he nodded, pursing his lips. She spoke softly, letting go of his hand, "If you need time to think about this, I understand. You were willing to wait heaven knows how long for me and I'll do the same for you."

They sat in silence for a few minutes before she mumbled something about going to take a shower. He pretended to be asleep when she came back in and then waited until she fell asleep before he went downstairs. He wasn't going to be able to sleep – his mind was never going to stop running. He just needed to clear his head.

-x-

Finn walked down the stairs, slowly and painfully. Every part of his body still ached and stairs were proving to be his worst enemy. He just needed to leave his room for a bit. He couldn't sleep and tried his hardest not to wake Rachel, who was sound asleep in his bed. Burt was leaving the kitchen and saw him stopped in the middle, leaning on the railing, catching his breath and came up to get him. "You're lucky your mom is working the night shift tonight. She would be throwing a fit if she knew you weren't resting," he told him with a laugh and Finn gave him a painful nod. "Come on, buddy let's get you to the couch."

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't sleep. And I've been going stir crazy," he told Burt as he lowered himself on to the couch with a groan.

"So what's got you so torn up that you can't sleep?" Burt asked, sitting on coffee table. Finn shook his head, not wanting to discuss it. "Come on, I'm sure that if you talk about it, you'll feel better."

"Rachel wants to get back together," he admitted with a sigh.

"So what's the problem? Isn't that all you've wanted since you guys broke up?"

"Yeah, but things are complicated now. She's got a life in New York and I've got one here. I can't let her give up her dream for me and I can't give up mine for her."

"Finn," Burt began, folding his hands. "Being in a relationship is all about compromise and being willing to give things up for the other person. And even if you did move to New York, you wouldn't be giving up your dream. You'd just be relocating. There are other colleges in New York. You can teach anywhere."

"Yeah, that's what Rachel said," Finn muttered. "But, the glee club needs me. Mr. Shue left it to me while he was gone and I can't leave them now. Not with Nationals so close."

"Do you think that maybe Schuester left you the glee club to get your mind off of your broken heart?" Finn's eyes snapped toward him as he continued. "I know that he trusted you more than anyone and he knew you could do it. But, in a way maybe he just wanted to keep you busy, to give you something to do to keep your mind off of how awful things got for you. And it's great that you found your dream while doing all of that. But, you can live out your dreams anywhere."

"Burt..."

"Finn, there are hundreds of schools in New York you can apply to. And there are thousands of kids you can teach," Burt told him. "Lima is never going to be your home without Rachel and you know that. She's only been around for a few weeks and I haven't seen you this happy in a long time. You know what it was like without her and the question here Finn is, are you willing to do that again when she leaves?"

"No," he mumbled. "I think I'm just scared of leaving Lima. I tried to before and I got bit in the ass and I just don't want it to happen again."

"Well, the good thing is this time around, you know what you want to do and you're great at it. And you're going to have a great girl by your side and your brother will be there too. Finn, buddy, your mom and I love having you here – you've been a great help with the shop – but you've never wanted to stay in Lima," he said, patting Finn's knee. "Don't let the fear get to you now. If anyone can do it, it's you, buddy."

-x-

Finn decided he was going to go to New York. After talking to Mr. Shue, Burt, and his mom the next morning after she found him sleeping on the couch, he knew that he needed to go. This would be such a great new start for he and Rachel. He still would have to wait two weeks to get through finals and finish out his semester and then tell Puck, and then he could move, but he was doing it.

Rachel came downstairs and found him snuggled up on the couch wrapped in his comforter and propped up on a mountain of pillows and had to stifle a giggle, "What are you doing down here?" she asked. "Trying to run away from me?"

"No, no. I couldn't sleep last night so I came down here and talked to Burt for a while. And I was in pretty bad pain for a while so he gave me some of my medicine and then brought my stuff down here," he explained as Rachel gave him a worried look. "My mom came home this morning and got pissed when she found out I tried to walk down the stairs by myself, so now I'm not allowed to go back upstairs until someone walks me up."

"Oh Finn," she said, her voice laced with sympathy as she walked over to him. "You know she's just worried about you. Just don't try to maneuver the stairs anytime soon."

"You're funny," he deadpanned before clearing his throat. "Rach, can we talk?"

"Sure," she answered, stopping him as he tried make room for her on the couch. "I'll just sit on the coffee table. What's on your mind, Finn?"

"I'm coming to New York with you," her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to speak. "Before you say anything, just let me finish, please. I talked to Mr. Shue and Burt and my mom and they all said the same thing that you said. I can teach anywhere and there are plenty of opportunities for me to teach in New York. I don't want you to give up _Funny Girl _after working your ass off to get it, you know? And then have some okay but not as great understudy take your role because you left."

Rachel didn't say anything, she stood up really fast and practically jumped down onto him to hug him, "Finn that's amazing. I'm so proud of you. So, are you leaving with me on Sunday."

"Unfortunately, no. I have to stay here for another two weeks because I have finals and then I've gotta talk to Puck and then I am all yours, Rachel Berry," he told her, running his good hand up her back.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, Puckerman went to New Haven to see Quinn last weekend and still hasn't come back. That's why he hasn't come by your house at all," she admitted as she broke their embrace. "I'll have to tell Kurt and Santana the news. Speaking of, where the hell is your brother? I haven't seen him since Wednesday."

"Oh, he went to Blaine's house. I think they're getting back together," Finn told her and she smiled before leaning down and embracing him again. He let out a groan as she leaned on his bruises.

"I'm sorry. Are you okay?" she yelped, pulling away from him and he nodded, telling her that it was okay. "I'm just so happy that this is finally happening for us."

"Me too," he cupped her cheek with his good hand, brushing his thumb against it. "Just two weeks. We can do it."

-x-

It sucked to see Rachel leave, but he was going to be with her soon and he just had to keep telling himself that. They were finally getting their happy ending and he was more than happy. His mom was still nervous about him being in New York while still recovering, but Burt talked her into letting him go. They found a great physical therapist for Finn when he got there.

Puck took the news that he was leaving surprisingly well, he thought he was going to be angry with him, but he was happy for Finn and Rachel. It turned out that Puck and Quinn were back together and he was going to spend the summer with her in New Haven.

His finals came and went and he did very well on all of them, which was the cherry on top of one of the best years he'd had. And now it was about to get so much better for him. He was so anxious and excited and happy.

He stopped by and said goodbye to the glee club, promising them that he'd be back for Nationals in a few weeks with Rachel to cheer them on. His summer may have started, but

The day was finally here. He was going to New York. Burt and his mom helped him pack up all of his stuff and load all of it into the moving truck. After the longest drive in the truck with Burt, they finally arrived. Rachel, Kurt, and Santana were waiting outside the loft, all of them giving him a hug as he got out of the truck.

He was finally home.

-x-

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